Graduation Speech

Melissa,

So, I graduated today. There is so much I could write about it, but the scariest part, but also the most rewarding was being able to speak at convocation for the College of Physical and Mathematical Sciences. I worked hard at it, and I feel that it expresses my feelings for today very well. So here it is. Enjoy.

- Jessica

I’m a math major, so I have to ask, what does a BYU undergrad’s experience equal? For me, its 56 classes, 47 professors, 15 roommates, 10 semesters, 9 binge-watched TV shows,  4 apartments,  3 on-campus jobs, 2 major changes, and 2 grad school acceptances, all for 1 piece of paper with my name on it. This seems like a lot, so why am I excited and yet sad at the same time? Why do I jump at the chance to go somewhere new and make my own path, yet tremble at the idea of leaving my home for the past four years?

 Part of it is the feeling of accomplishment – we’ve made it! We are done and the things we have accomplished are great. Think of that test you studied all week for and somehow managed to pass. Think of the project that you were working on all semester, and it still became a mad rush to finish in the last two weeks. Think of the early morning class you could never quite make it on time to, and the afternoon class you always seemed to sleep through. Think of the class you never thought you would pass, and think of the late hours in the library or dark corners of the Talmage, Eyring, or the Benson building working towards that passing grade. All those tasks are finished and through them we have gathered a large base of knowledge and skills to bring into the next stage of our lives.

But it wasn’t just the classes that made our time at BYU great. Think of the friends you’ve made, both in class and out, that helped you with those tests and projects, or even just helped you let off some steam when the class load got too hard. Think of the professors that consistently spent office hours or even extra hours helping you understand the material or giving you advice about classes, internships, or graduate schools. Think of the roommates that might have driven you crazy with a sink consistently full of dishes, but that were also there when life got too hard. They were there for the late movie nights, the rejections, the hopes and dreams. As much as what we have accomplished these past years is something to be proud of, the people we have met, grown to love, and who have changed us are worth treasuring, thanking, and always remembering.

I’d like to share one of the best things I learned here at BYU, and it wasn’t from a certain class or one huge revelation. It was a slow change that has happened over the past four years  thanks to friends, family, and the professors I’ve met here at BYU.

Four years ago, little freshman Jessica sat down in her first college class. It was a scary 300 level religion class that she desperately wanted to take, but was terrified to because she was a little freshman. As the teacher got farther into the syllabus her heart sank. The assignments seemed too much, the writing too intense, and all the other students seem much older and sure of themselves. There was no way she could get a good grade! As soon as the class ended, Jessica raced to the library, found a computer, dropped the class, and added a Book of Mormon class instead.

Two years later, I was once again in a class where the teacher spent the whole first day going on and on about how it was going to be the hardest thing I would do in college. I was faced with a programming language I didn’t know and fellow students who not only seemed much older but were almost all male. Once again, my stomach started twisting and I started wondering if there would be anyone who wanted to work with me, if I would be able to learn python while keeping up with the assignments, and if I could handle the math proofs and computational homework. All this while that little nagging voice kept answering “you can’t do it, you CAN’T do it.”

This time, however, I stayed in the class which was my first in the Applied and Computational Math Emphasis. The next two years, as I went through the program, were the hardest things I’ve done in college. I found myself staying on campus later and later and spending more and more time in the computer lab staring at bits of code, hoping they’d fix themselves. I wrote proof after proof, until the details all started to blur in my mind and I couldn’t tell convex from concave. I filled whiteboards and whiteboards with formulas studying for tests. But with the help of friends and professors, I made it. And not only did I survive, but I excelled. I’d had enough confidence to stay in the class after that first day and when I saw that my hard work brought success that confidence grew until I’ve been able to present about my own research at conferences and apply to graduate schools I never would have dreamed of. This confidence has enabled me to explore areas to find what I’m passionate about and to create friendships better than I’ve ever had. I’ve learned that if I’m willing to do the work, I can accomplish absolutely anything.

And this knowledge is what I want to share with you today. Take the passions and interests you’ve found during your time here at BYU and pursue them! You have the skills and knowledge you need, and if you don’t you can gain them - the resources are there if you are willing to put in the work.  As much as I enjoyed the Book of Mormon class I took, I never did find time to take that religion class I ran away from four years ago and I plan on never repeating that mistake again. This fall I am heading to Duke University to start my PhD in Computational Biology and Bioinformatics and I plan on taking full advantage of the resources there in order to accomplish the most I can and best learn how to do my own original research. All of us have a bright future ahead because of the wonderful environment BYU has provided. As we face both the joy and sorrow that today brings, remember, success is ahead if you just have the confidence to work for your dreams.

Thank you, and congratulations.

NCUWM

Melissa,

I spent last weekend in Nebraska. Why Nebraska you ask? I was there for the Nebraska Conference for Undergraduate Women in Mathematics (NCUWM) and it was fabulous!

There were plenary talks  by female professors and panels about careers in math and graduate school. There were breakout sessions about graduate school, research, math clubs, being confident, and many other things. There were undergraduate talks and posters about their research experiences and  I gave a talk about my research as did a couple of my friends.

I met women doing research in anything from graph theory to applied math, and I got to meet other undergraduates who have the same troubles about not knowing what research or careers they want to do.

I met women who had no female faculty when they went to school. I met women who were the first to be pregnant at their graduate school. I met professors doing research in mathematical biology just like I want to do. I met women from the graduate schools I am applying to. I met women excelling in life in all the ways I want to, and I met women who told me I could, too.

I know that women are just as good at math as men, but I don't think I believed that my career options were as broad or as bright as men's until now. Why? I simply hadn't seen it. There's only a couple of female math professors in my department, and I really haven't had much interaction with them. But meeting women who have built careers in math, who have balanced family and work, and who absolutely love their work and are so excited to help me build my career has been amazing. Now I have no doubt that I can accomplish whatever program or research that I set my mind to.

The conference wasn't about moaning about how men dominate everything or complaining that we aren't given the same opportunities. That didn't happen at all. It was about bringing women together and giving us the courage and confidence to pursue the careers we want.

The quote to best sum it up is this: "Men can be great mentors, but there is something powerful about seeing someone do what you want to do who looks like you." I might not have remembered it right, but Dr. Maria Klawe, the one who said it, is my new hero along with many of the other women I met this weekend. For the first time I feel like I have role models who share my dreams and face my same challenges. And for the first time I really feel like I can succeed in graduate school and beyond

 - Jessica

Jan 5, 2014: A Week of Joy

Hey everyone. Thanks for still being alive.

I've felt so many different versions of joy this week, that I don't even know where to start.

New Years Eve:

Joy is looking up from personal study and seeing snow. Yes. Snow. In Las Vegas. It lasted a total of five minutes. But I touched snow! Needless to say, I had a very hard time focusing for the rest of studies because I was hoping that it would snow again.

Saturday night:

We are teaching a family of three. M, T (14), and A (7). Their dad was a member and he died about a year ago. We don't know how active the dad was or anything. We got them as a referral from a bishop. M went to the bishop and got food and he gave her a BOM and referred her to us. A is very anti-us. Really he just wants the attention. He complains and says that our games are stupid and that we won't read, but he really likes us. We can tell. T is along those same lines. Always busy, always wants to leave, and never says he'll read or pray. But on Saturday, HE TOLD US HE READ. THREE CHAPTERS OF THE BOM. We did not see that coming. That was joy.

Monday:

You guys are alive. That's joy.

What else happened this week? A lot. We'll start with the car. But that takes some backtracking.

So wayyyyyy back in November, we had to get a smog check for our car. When we did that the guy told us that our fan was really loud and going on for a really long time and that we should get that checked. We called Elder B (who's in charge of car-ness) and he told us to just get our smog checked. So we just got our smog checked. Then a notification came up that the AC was turned off due to engine temperatures (the AC wasn't on). We were like, well, they are going to check the car soon so we don't need to worry about it. But we worried. We called Elder B a little while later and he freaked out and told us to put water in the radiator. He told us not to drive it and put water in it. We were like, how are we getting home . . .? So we found some nice guys to put water in it. They might have been a bit drunk. We're not sure. (Oh ya, this was back with Hermana S by the way.) Anyway, Elder B told us to take the car in. Down in Henderson. So we drove alllll the way down to Henderson, sat in the dealership for like four hours, for them to tell us they could not find a leak. Elder B told us to keep an eye on the car. So, fast forward to this week. We had to fill the radiator again. So, Elder B told us to take the car in again (this time close by, thank goodness!). They told us that the water pump is leaking and something else needed to be fixed that was making a mysterious clicking noise. They shuttled us home and we called them later and they told us, that IF they have the parts, we can get it back Tuesday. This was Friday. A.K.A we were going to be without a car until Tuesday. At the earliest. So guess what we did. We biked! But when our district leader saw us biking down the road, and the members found out that we were biking, they decided that that was an abomination. They took it as a personal offence. So Saturday, we borrowed the district leader's car when he had members who were driving him around, and we got a lot of rides from members. Yesterday all of our appointments were close enough to walk, so we walked around. Except for when we needed to go to the projects, then we got a ride. Today the sister training leaders are driving us around so we can go shopping and email and stuff. We haven't quite figured out what is happening tonight. The problem is that if we bike for part of the day, we either have to go ALL the way back to our apartment to drop off the bikes or leave them somewhere when a member gives us a ride. So it's really not effective to do that. So we have to figure out the perfect balance of walking, biking, and rides. It's quite complicated.

For New Years Eve we had to be in our apartments by 6 o'clock. I had plans to be super productive and organize and all this stuff, but, I was super tired. So I watched like an hour of Bible Videos and then went to bed. I took like two mini naps in there too.

I think New Years Day is my new favorite holiday. People were home because it's a holiday, but they weren't busy because they did all their celebrating the night before. It was great!

Well. I think that's all I got for right now. Please don't die in the next week. That would be greatly appreciated.

Hermana Leete

A Scary Experience

Melissa,

To stop the suspense, I'll tell you what happened right away. Friday afternoon, Kevin, Rebecca, and I left to go back to school. We were planning on stopping at Aunt Lynn's in Boise that night, but we didn't make it since we kinda wrecked our car. Don't worry, everyone is absolutely fine. Here's what happened.

The roads were perfectly clear the whole way, even as we got up into the blue mountains. We started going downhill a bit and as we turned a right corner, there was a large patch of ice. We started fishtailing, but with the downhill Kevin couldn't slow down and get it under control fast enough and it just got worse. The back left  of the car hit the cement median, sending the back sliding harder to the right. The back of the car slid in front of us, turning us around. The cement median had stopped, but we hit the snow bank on the median with the passenger side of the car. We then rolled over into the snow and slid backwards and upside down for about 20-30 feet. No one was hurt, but we were a bit shaken up and trapped in the car since the snow was so deep. Kevin couldn't find his phone, but I had mine in my pocket so I called 911. Kevin wasn't sure if we were in the median or the other side of the street, so he turned on all the outside lights and started honking the horn, but we were safe in the median. Some nice people had stopped as soon as they saw us crash and helped dig us out. We all got out ok and got safely to the other side of the street. where Rebecca and I sat in the car of one of the people who had stopped to help. They were a nice couple heading back to OSU. He used to be an EMT so he checked us for concussions. Kevin dealt with the police and stuff.

The whole experience was terrifying, but so much went right to keep us safe.  There wasn't any front impact, so the airbags didn't go off (saving our noses) and none of the stuff from the back of the car flew forward and hit us (the car was packed to the roof!). The jam jars in the back didn't even break! There was no shattered glass to deal with. The puppy was fine even though he wasn't secured to anything. Rebecca says she was able to grab him before we rolled.  Nice people got there really quick to help.  Dad had been meaning to change the car insurance to a cheaper plan that wouldn't cover this, but forgot so we are covered. But most importantly, no one was hurt. Well, Kevin stubbed his toe and Rebecca's shoulder is a bit sore, but that is it.God was watching over us, I'm sure He was.

So after the police came and checked everything out and righted the car, we got all our valuables and important things like purses and laptops out and one of the truck drivers gave us a ride to a hotel in Pendleton. We stayed there for the night, although no one got much sleep. We just talked and tried to calm each other down. There were no car rental places open on Saturday, So mom and dad came and gave us a ride (We were only about 3 hours from home). On Saturday we got the rest of the stuff from the car. In the daylight, the car didn't look so bad from some angles. The passenger door didn't close anymore, I'm not sure if that was from the roof being dented or the door misshapen. There was a fist sized dent in the back bumper from where we hit the median, and the roof above the driver's seat had really bent in. And the glass sunroof was gone. It's a good thing the cover was closed to keep the glass out when we were stuck in the car. After we got everything out of the wrecked car, we drove to Boise where Aunt Lynn made some great soup and we all went to bed early. Then on Sunday we drove to Provo. So you're not going to get an email from mom. They're staying at a hotel overnight then driving all the way home tomorrow.

Back tracking to earlier in the week, it was pretty chill. We saw The Hobbit, the Battle of the Five Armies, which was enjoyable - although Dad is very glad it's over. New Year's eve was fun. Linnea joined us and we stayed up playing games and watched the ball drop in Times Square. The next day she came over and we had a knitting party! Later the family saw the Imitation Game. It's about Alan Turing, a mathematician who broke the German enigma machine during the WWII. The enigma machine was how the Germans encoded all their messages, so by breaking the code, historians estimate that the war ended two years earlier and saved millions of lives. Everyone liked it, the movie was beautifully done.

That's about it for the update! I hope everything is going well over there. I'm all settled in and ready for the new semester tomorrow.  This week I learned without a doubt that the Lord is watching over us. If we are follow his commandments and keeping our covenants, He will protect us when needed. He truly loves us and wants the best for us.

I also learned the importance of seat belts. They kept us in our seats while we rolled and then we were hanging by them afterward. Things would have been much worse if we hadn't been wearing seat belts. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS WEAR A SEAT BELT. God is less likely to help out if you're an idiot who doesn't wear a seat belt.

Love you lots.

Jessica 

P.S. Here's a picture Kevin took of our car upside down in the snow. The rut in the snow in front of it is where we slid.

P.P.S On a happier note, I tried taking some selfies with Brahms in the car. Here's two that I got.  He's so cute!

News from Melissa

Hey all!

Melissa is doing great on her mission. Most of her letters to me are pretty short, but here's some great snippets from them.

To read more of Melissa's letters home, go here!

Querida Jessica,

July 31

I love the feeling you get when you walk into the Celestial room. I love the peace in the temple. I love the Spirit there. I feel the Spirit different in the temple than I do anywhere else. It feels like it's too big for me. Like I'm so full. I think of the Grinch and how his heart grew three sizes, and that's how it feels. It's amazing. I love that you get to serve other people. I love how you can always learn. I love the symbolism and the feeling of truth. I am so glad for temples and really sad that I haven't been in six weeks! I know, I'm doing other important stuff, and I got to go to the visitor's center, but it's not quite the same. I hope I get to go again when I'm in Vegas.

You feel so close to God in the temple. You get to experience, just a bit, what it's like to be in heaven. You feel so much love. It's so amazing!

I like to look back on my life and remember those experiences that strengthened my testimony. I feel extremely blessed because I don't think I leaned on Mom and Dad for too long. I found out for myself. Which is one reason I love this church so much. I could find out for myself! I didn't have to listen to everyone else's testimonies or just read the Bible or something like that. I could ask God for myself and find out that this church is true. I know that it is true. I know because I asked. I know because I have read the scriptures. I know because the Holy Ghost has told me, again and again, that it is true. I can't deny it. I am excited to have the opportunity to tell the people of Las Vegas that we have the truth. Not only that, but that they don't have to believe me. They can find out for themselves! Not by searching the internet, not by asking out people, but by asking the one who knows all things, but asking God. And if they ask God, with a sincere heart, truly wanting to know the truth, they will know. They will know that the Book of Mormon in the word of God, Joseph Smith was a prophet, and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is God's true church once again restored to this earth. It's amazing. You can know this, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your being. I know it and I cannot deny it. I would rather deny gravity than to deny this church. I know that this church is true, better than I know that. It is true.

Aug 11

You know I've been thinking about the whole "real world" thing. We watched a devotional in the CCM, I think it was by Elder Holland, and he mentioned how people are always like, "when I get back to real life" and he's like "what's more real than missionary work?" That really stuck with me. What is more real than the gospel? What is more real than studying the gospel and preaching the gospel? That's what I got to do in the CCM, study and practice preaching. What could possibly be more real than that? Whether in the CCM or out of it, this is real stuff. This is the important stuff in life. But ya, I know what  you mean. It's kinda scary to talk to real investigators in Spanish and members who aren't my teachers. Scary. I only understand a tiny portion of what I hear and I usually am to frightened to respond. But, I'm working on it.

Aug 18

The thing I've learned this week is that teaching people the gospel takes time. It's hard for me to not get impatient. I meet a person who is interested, and I want to teach them every day. But they're busy. They don't yet fully realize how important this is, and they have work and other things that they have to schedule around. However, this is my life, all day, everyday, so it's hard because I feel like it's been forever since we've talked, and it's really only been like two days. Also, we talk to people who have talked to missionaries before, and sometimes they don't really remember it. It's like, these people are such a big part of the missionary's life, we keep track of them, we pray for them, all these things, but sometimes, they don't let the gospel into their life, so it doesn't change them. It could help them so much! But they don't let it, and that's sad.

Aug 25

What made me laugh the most . . . I don't know. My companion. Hermana D gets so worked up and excited about things. I feel like I almost am overly not excited just to balance it out. So she makes me laugh.

Sep 1

I had this thought the other day. We all know that the temple is the end goal, it's not baptism. And it just makes sense! Because if not, why are we baptized at 8? You are not accountable until then, so why be baptized the second you can, if you don't really have sin until then? It doesn't make sense. In theory, you would want to be baptized later in life, to get rid of your sins right before you die, right? But, that's not so! Baptism is only the gate to eternal life. The gate to other covenants. And through those other covenants and being obedient and enduring to the end, you become clean, not just once, but over and over and over again. Hence baptism at 8. We need a lot of time to accomplish that. It's amazing how everything fits together. It's not just one event, you need so much in order to live with God again!

(What was the saddest part of your week? The happiest?)

Sad stuff. Investigators standing us up on our appointments and not coming to church and not being able to contact them. I just want to save your soul! BE THERE!!!!! Especially when you have a member there. It's sad.

Happy stuff! AWESOME NEW INVESTIGATORS! I feel like they are golden. Like they're gonna be baptized. I can't wait to teach them.

Sep 15

We're going to start teaching an English class sometime soon. That'll be scary. Apparently I just have to talk to people in English, which sounds pretty easy. But we'll see. Hermana D and I were laughing at how everyone is going to end up having a southern accent because both Hermana D and Elder B have southern accents. All the people I teach will sound normal though!

(Who is the strangest person you've met?)

I talked to someone who was kind of green. That was weird.

Sep 29

You should send me food. If that's possible. I like food. But not as much as Hispanics. SO MUCH FOOD. The plate is like full, with the food just heaped up on it. And you have to eat it all so you don't offend anyone. I have no idea how to serve myself anymore. There is no way I am not going to gain weight. AAAAHHHHHHH. At least the food tastes good. But you get to a point where everything tastes bad once you've eaten too much.

I love the temple!!!!! I wish I could go all the time! But I gotta focus on the living right now, so later in my life I'll worry about the dead.

This week was pretty unexciting so I don't really have anything to say. 'Cept Jesus the Christ is boss. Is that disrespectful? I really love reading it. I am so close to finishing it. I just get sucked in and I don't want to stop. I highly recommend it for a little light reading. (Ha! Everyone knows that is not light reading.)

Nov 3

I love your costume and your decorations. They are fantastic. We actually had a mission party. We went to the mission office, ate food, watched skits about the worst first member present lesson, and watched 17 miracles. It was pretty fun. So no, I didn't really see any costumes. But I switched name tags with Hermana S for the party. People kept on giving us funny looks.

Mish is pretty good. Nothing terrible has happened yet. You know, nothing worse than the usual, people calling us fools, trying to tell us that we are solicitors, being rude. But I'm used to that now. It has given me a better perspective on people of other faiths. Like, how hypocritical I am. For example, people will tell us that we are wrong, and I'll think, but you know nothing about our religion. But, that's what I think about other people. So, I'm trying to fix that. I would love to learn about other religions, I just don't really have a means to at the moment. I think it's super interesting. Basically, I'm starting to see more and more what it's like to be on the other side of the missionary-normal person conversation. The more I talk to people as a missionary, the more I see what it's like from their point of view. Then, I try to stop being so stupid and judgmental. It's a process though.

Nov 10

There are rabbits everywhere here. I think of you when I see them. I really want to pick them up, but I'm pretty sure that's a really ​really bad idea. Even if I could catch them.

Love you!

Hermana Leete

The Worth of Souls: July 17, 2014

Jessica!

Exact obedience is hard. Really hard. I'm trying so hard but I fail all the time. But, I'm trying. I want to be obedient. Not just conveniently obedient, but exactly obedient. It is the only way I can be more Christlike, and that exactly what I want to be. 

I love what you said about that. I can't believe people think that this church is sexist. In no way do I feel like I am prevented from receiving blessings because I am a girl. It's ridiculous! The Elders are so nice, they always let you go first in line. Some people would think that is sexist in itself, but I think it shows respect. It is telling us that they respect us enough to put aside their own feelings of hunger so that we can satisfy our hunger. It's charity, it's love, it's respect. I have the opportunity here to have the priesthood authority to preach the gospel. It's amazing! I may not hold the priesthood, but I can still serve. I couldn't give my companion a blessing when she was sick, but they could. She, and I, could still be blessed by the priesthood without holding it. I don't think I can express my feelings well enough. Here, we work together. I, as a Sister Training Leader, work with the District and Zone Leaders to make sure the needs of the hermanas are met. We work together. That is how it is supposed to be. I don't need to do what they do to have worth. I don't need to be a man to have worth. That idea is ridiculous. We're not the same, and there is a reason for that. We can't have 7 billion architects in the world, it just doesn't make sense! I hope that people some day will be able to understand that. I know I have worth, I know you have worth. I don't think I am worth more than any man, nor is any man worth more than me. We are all children of God. We all have separate roles. These roles even change from sister to sister and brother to brother. It's ridiculous to  think one person is worth more than another, simple because of gender.

This is something that has slowly been working it's way into my heart over the past years. Everyone, and I mean EVERYone is worth more than anything in this world in the sight of God. It is only us who don't see it that way. It is us to say, "oh he's righteous he's worth more" or "she's so pretty so she's better". That's a lie. Let me say that again. THAT IS A LIE. Satan wants us to think that way. Satan wants us to judge and demean other people, other children of God. But we can't let him. We need to let everyone know that they have worth. We need to tell everyone their true identity. We are children of God! What greater knowledge can we have than that. He loves us, he has a plan for us so that we can live with him, and our families for eternity! What a blessing it is to learn more about this and to have the opportunity to share it with the world. To share it to people in their own tongue. What other church sends a bunch of 18 and 19 year-olds to learn a foreign language so that they can teach people the truth, in their own tongue. It's amazing. 

I hope school is going well for you. I hope you know that you are loved and that you have great worth, to God, to this world, and to those around you. You can do great things with your life.

I love you,

Hermana Leete

How Women are Viewed

Sister Leete!

I'm glad everything is going well in the MTC and that you are enjoying learning Spanish! I especially liked what you said about exact obedience. I was at a Relief Society fireside this week and one of the members of my stake presidency said that too often we want to obey the Lord, but we want to do it our way. I know I'm guilty of this, but that's not really obedience is it? Obedience is much more about humility and putting aside what we want for what God knows is better for us. And that's the truly great thing about it, what God says is best for us truly is because He loves us and knows more than us. That makes Him brilliant at giving guidance and direction.

One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is how the world views women versus how the church views women. So much of the world right now is pushing women to be seen for only their beauty and how they can please men, or is on the other side of the spectrum saying that the only way to have equality is for women to be exactly like men. Either way, the world places a woman's worth in what men think of her. Currently, my biggest issue with it is how women are portrayed in the media. Even in books with a female protagonist, so many play out the same story line. A young women feels worthless even though there is something special about her (such as magic powers, super strength, having cancer, or having blood that smells really good to vampires). Then a boy comes along that falls in love with her - specifically because of a physical feature, which one varies between books - and throughout their journey teaches her to love herself. And him. The writing style varies, the genre varies, the other themes explored varies, but this doesn't. I'm sick of these girls having to wait around for a man to tell her that she has worth.

That's not how it is in the church. The other day I had a bit of an epiphany. The world tells us we are only worth something when we are with a man, but the church tells us that we can be exalted with one. Nowhere in church doctrine are women belittled or put below men. Everywhere we are valued, loved, and respected. We are children of God, just as much as men are. We are given leadership roles in the church and encouraged to teach, expound, and serve. You right now are serving as a representative for the church and of Jesus Christ and will be doing His work in bringing others to the truth. Women are beloved daughters of God and important members of the church. Even if we don't hold offices in the priesthood, we are still blessed by its power just as much as men, and act under with its authority when we serve in callings. (For more information about the priesthood see this talk from General Conference). More than that, God allows men and women to progress further together when sealed in eternal marriage in the temple. Though men and women are different, God gives both an equal opportunity to progress together.

So there's some thoughts that have been bouncing around my head for a while. I've been wanting to talk to someone about it. What do you think about this?

Love you! Have a great week!

Jessica

Week 2: July 10, 2014

Hey Jessica,

I feel like I just told everything to Mom, so I won't give you the day by day play of my week and talk to you about other stuff. That's more fun anyway, right?

I've learned that my Spanish sucks. I got to talk to a member from here this week. We had a hard time communicating. Ya. That was a blow to my ego. Which was good. It's better to get that now rather than the second I get into the mission field.

I'm finding it kind of hard to be exactly obedient. It's not like I'm rebellious or anything, it's just that sometimes I want to study in my own way, but they tell me to learn these things this way, or whatever. But I'm working hard on changing that. I want to be exactly obedient; I don't know everything and the Lord does, and if he inspired people to have us study in a certain way, I need to study that way. Sometimes it's hard, but I'm working on it.

I'm so glad you are enjoying school again. One funny thing, Hermana J (my companion) is a Recreational Therapy major at BYU, she's one semester away from graduating, so she takes a lot of psychology classes. It's cool to be paired with her, we know and are interested in a lot of the same stuff. I can't wait until I can go back and learn more! However, now is the time for learning Spanish, and how to use a Spanish keyboard, and how to teach the gospel (knowing the stuff is not quite enough), and  how to talk to people, and how to get along with people, and so many other social skills which I do not possess. It's just different. A good different, but different.

It's amazing to see everyone progress in their Spanish. A lot of these missionaries never spoke a lick of Spanish before they came here, and now, after two weeks, they are bearing their testimonies and teaching lessons in Spanish. No, their Spanish is not perfect, for some people, not even close, but they can still do it. It's really amazing. Everyday I am astounded by what everyone can do. I hope they notice it too.

In order to save me time, here is an excerpt from my letter to Mom:

"Fourth of July was definitely a highlight. I swear, I have never seen so many people wearing red, white, and blue as I did that day. It was ridiculous. The kitchen staff was so nice too! For lunch we had BBQ sandwiches, corn on the cob, apple pie, and french fries! One hermana wanted to sing the national anthem, so they let her. We all sang along. I was really touched at the effort that they went to to make us feel at home. They even put red, white, and blue table clothes on all the tables! It was pretty amazing."

Anyway, I'm not sure what else to say. I hope all is well.

Love you!

Hermana Leete

**To see more of Melissa's letters click on the link in the side bar to Called to Serve: Las Vegas Nevada.**

In the MTC

Melissa flew to the Mexico MTC on June 25, and today was her first p-day, which means e-mails!

Hey Jessica!

The flight was pretty boring. I mostly just slept. On both of them. But it was fun being in the Phoenix airport because there were a ton of missionaries on the same flight! We all kind of sat next to each other and talked about where we were from and where we are going. It was really cool. I can't really describe it. It's really amazing the sisterhood/brotherhood that you feel here.

My companion is Hermana J. She is amazing! I love her and the two sisters I share a room with, Hermana C and Hermana M. They are amazing! We are all going to the Nevada, Las Vegas mission together, except for Hermana M who is going to New Jersey. I'll miss her when we leave. The Elderes in my district are awesome! Like seriously, I couldn't have asked for a better district. We like to do stuff together, we work well together, we have fun together. It's just amazing. The best part is when we are learning Spanish. We have people who didn't know any Spanish when they came in and people who took four years of Spanish before they came. We all help each other learn. It's also so amazing to see how fast everyone improves. Hermana J didn't know any Spanish when she came here a week ago (she took six years of German though) but last night, when we were teaching our investigator, she spoke nearly completely in Spanish! It wasn't very complicated, or totally correct Spanish, but it was Spanish. I'm so proud of how far she has come in such a short amount of time.

Love you! I would write more but I have to make sure I write to Mom and Dad too.

Hermana Leete

To see more of Hermana Leete's e-mails, our mom is posting her letters home here.

Goodbye Melissa!

Melissa,

Spending the weekend at home was great. It was wonderful to get the whole family together again. We didn't do much, but just spending time together was all I wanted. I love how we watched the Lego movie (twice!) and then continued to quote it the rest of the time. EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

I can’t believe you’re going on a mission tomorrow! I already miss you so much, and I just barely said goodbye! I am so proud of you for deciding to serve a mission. You are going to be a fantastic missionary!

Two reasons you’re going to be a great missionary:

1. You love Jesus Christ – There’s no better reason to serve and there’s no way to be a better missionary than loving the Lord, His gospel, and His church. Whenever you teach, your love and testimony will shine through, and that will make you an effective missionary.

2. You know how to work hard – You've always been one to go the extra mile and to try new things. Like violin! The only reason you had to start and keep practicing was because you wanted to learn. You can motivate yourself like no one else, and that will keep you working hard your whole mission.

 I love you so much Melissa, have a wonderful time and work hard! I can't wait to hear from you.

-Jessica

Note: While Melissa is on a mission, I will continue to write her and post it here. Her replies will also be posted here.

Counting Down the Days

Hey Jessica!

Two weeks.

14 Days.

That's all I have left.

In a good way of course. I don't mean the kind of "that's all I have left" like all your friends have died and all you have left is a guinea pig and you are afraid it too will die. I mean the "I only have to wait 14 more days," "that's all I have left."

Needless to say, I've been pretty busy. Actually, that's kind of a lie. I have moments where I'm really really busy and I have moments where I read all day or watch Kim Possible. I really have no excuse for taking so long to post.

If you were wondering about clothing, I have:

• 5 bike-rideable skirts
• 2 thrown-in-if-you-have-room skirts
• 11 blouses
• 1 cardigan
• 3 pairs of shoes (one black heel, one black and one brown nice walking shoe)
• 1 cute raincoat
• 1 dress (that's coming in the mail, I really hope it fits)

As glad as I am to have so many skirts, I'm thinking my skirt-blouse ratio is a little off. But I don't know. Mostly I am just tired of shopping. Maybe when you come home we can go, one last time.

Do you want to know what else I've been doing?

THIS!

It is finally done. It's taken me a while, yes I know, but it is done! I hope you enjoy the fruits of my last finals week in Hawaii. Yes, you read right. Kelsy and I filmed this during finals week. It was quite the task. You have no idea. It even has multiple guest stars! Of course you know none of them, but oh well! You know what's even better? Everyone who is in the video knew they were being filmed at the time! That lowers my creeper status done to zero.

Anyway, if you post quickly, then I can reply one last time before I go and you will have to post for me. 

See ya!

Melissa

Since You've Been Gone....

Melissa!

It was amazing having you to visit! I'm glad I got to introduce you to a lot of my friends and celebrate my birthday. It was the best birthday I've had in a while. :)

So since you've been gone, it's just been life getting back to normal. Homework, work, a math test - but besides those oh so fun happenings, here's the highlights of the week:

First, having the 10th Doctor watch over my living room. He's still here in all his cardboard cut-out glory and it's great. He's had a number of hats, including a paper birthday hat and a flower crown, and he's successfully freaked out a couple of guests as they walked in the door.

Second, starting on my scarf. The yarn Sunny sent is beautiful and I'm a bit over a foot into it. It'll be great when it's done!

Third, delicious stir-fry with broccoli, carrots, and bell peppers with some onions and garlic to season and pineapple as a sweet treat. The colors were beautiful all together, but more importantly it tasted amazing. I'm very proud of myself.

So there's my life, how's yours?

 - Jessica

P.S. Also this is a highlight.

10 Things That Make You Wonderful or Why I Wish I Was You

Hey Jessica!

I am done with school until 2016. Woah. That's weird to think about. But, I've decided this post isn't going to be about me—no, it's going to be about you.

Congratulations! Your finals should end today! You made it! You are so close to being done with this stage of your schooling, I’m so proud of you. Because of this I'm going to tell you some awesome things about yourself (just in case you've forgotten). Here they are: 10 Things That Make You Wonderful or Why I Wish I Was You

1. You sew, crochet, and knit. That's pretty impressive. And you don't just follow patterns, you make stuff up too! Like the sleeve for my computer. You can sew some amazing dresses, and don't get me started on your quilt. It's amazing! You put so much hard work and perfectionism into these projects that is incredible, and it shows in the finished projects.
2. You are super smart. I don't think I need to tell you that you are the smartest one in our family. It's pretty obvious. You get the best grades because you are the hardest worker even though out of all of us you probably are studying the hardest subject. Go you!
3. You can cook. And bake. If you don’t count brownies, these are two skills of which I lack. And two skills of which people (especially of the male variety) love. You make some of the best things I have ever had. You also get excited about making things—that makes making things even more fun! (Might I add that you look super cute in your apron, the apron that you made.)
4. You are amazing at the piano. It cannot be denied, you are the most musical person in our family. You are the only one to pick up piano again, and the only one to play so many instruments. Oh, and don’t forget you have an amazing voice. Like, come on, Concert Choir, Cantores . . . leave some skill for the rest of us! Don’t forget you are awesome at saxophone too! You and the quartet gave me an appreciation for that instrument.
5. Clothes. You wear super cute stuff. ‘Nough said.
6. You have perfect teeth. The rest of us had to go through years of braces to sort of get teeth like yours. Lucky you.
7. You can take pictures like this and still look great.

   

   The turtle is not the only cute thing in this photo

8. You are great at strategy games. At least better than I am. And you are great at card games. The rest of us can’t keep up.
9. You look great in scarves. I’m a little jealous. Only a little, I swear!
10. You are beautiful. Don't go shaking your head at the screen. Don't do it. For once, let yourself believe you are beautiful, because it is the truth. You have a symmetrical face with these gorgeous eyes staring out at the rest of us. (If you think that me saying that you have a symmetrical face is a little cold, it’s really not. It’s scientific. That’s what makes people attractive.) Don’t get me started on your hair! I am soooooooooo jealous of your hair. It is a gorgeous brown, and is curly. I love the curls you have. So many people spend forever curling their hair everyday so that it will look like that. You also have long, curly, dark eyelashes. The rest of the world wishes that they had your eyelashes. I could go on, but we don’t want you getting too big of an ego.

I thought this was appropriate

Now, don’t get discouraged, there are more reasons why you are wonderful, but to state them all would take the rest of my life. These are just a few. I thought they might be able to recharge you for the next semester. I love you Jessica, keep being awesome.

Love,

Melissa

The Little Things

Melissa,

So this month has been crazy and I'm very sorry it's taken this long to get a post up. But despite all the crazy that's been going on there's always been the little things that keep me going.

First, hobbies that keep me sane. I've been going to social dance club every week and since it's in the evening, it forces me to stay on campus all day and get homework done! But more importantly, it gives me a chance to forget all the math and just waltz across the dance floor.

Second, delicious food. Lately I've been experimenting with making my own bread! It's a lot of fun, and it tastes much better than the over processed preservative filled bread they sell in the store. It also makes delicious sandwiches to take to campus!

Third, helping others. Service always makes life better, and since I'm in the math building all day, there's always someone around who needs help with math. Plus, other people's homework is much more fun!

And last and most important, all my wonderful friends that make the long days in the math building fun and my roommates that make my apartment a great place to be. They keep me smiling all day and stop me from being too stressed about the piles of homework looming over my shoulder waiting to be done.

So there's the little things that keep me going. How's your life in Hawaii going?

Jessica

Life in the Library

Hey Jessica,

I've been spending a lot of time in the library lately. A lot of time. Like, more time than in my hale. I have found that there are some pros and cons to homeworking in the library.

Pros:

• There are comfy couches in the library (and comfy armchairs)
• It gives you a new place to study so that you are not always in your dorm
• There's good wifi
• Air conditioning!
• It's quiet here
• I feel all studenty and productive here
• If you are doing research and need a book, you don't have to make a trip to the library--you're already there!
• You always know what holiday is coming up because of the decorations
• When you leave you can tell yourself (in a British accent) "Melissa has left the library. Melissa has been saved."

Cons:

• Because of the comfortable couches and chairs in the library, there are often people sleeping there
• When the wifi is down, there is nothing you can do about it
• The fire in the fireplace is fake
• In the evenings it can get kinda busy and people get talkative, and it's annoying 
• It feels like I don't have a life. (Which I don't, but it's not like I want to feel that way)
• There is no way to escape Valentine's Day--the decorations are everywhere
• When you leave and the sun is down, you feel like you lost your whole day. And to homework, which is worse

I see this guy in the library a lot. He's usually sleeping. On the couch too. Come on dude! Maybe I wanted to sit there! (mmppphhhmmmmmm . . .) He probably lives off campus and doesn't want to trek home and back again between classes or whatever. So I shouldn't judge. But I do. I'm a terrible person.

My social life has disappeared (what was left of it anyway). I haven't gone to Country Swing in two weeks! (Which is a big deal considering it has only been going for three.) I don't hang out with anyone! I haven't gone to the beach! It's a tragedy!

On another note. Kelsy and I have been working on our version of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" which is "Do You Want to go Surfing?" However, I've been using Garage Band. Big mistake. It keeps on ruining my sound files. I have no idea why. I've recorded that stupid song (completely, with multiple takes) twice. I kinda want to give up on it, but at the same time I want to prove to Garage Band that I'm superior, but I also want to do it on another program that won't destroy my work. Basically, I'm stuck. I don't quite know what to do. I don't have a sound editing program and I don't want to have to purchase one. So you'll have to wait for Kelsy and my next big musical production. But it'll be awesome. And hilarious.

Since I feel like I'm just rambling at this point,

See ya later! Have fun mathing.

Melissa

Why Applied Mathematicians Make the Best Brownies

Melissa,

So this semester I am taking a mathematical biology class. (Yes, I can hear the people shuddering in the distance) But I really like it! It's basically an overview of how math is being used to model things in biology. We started with just a basic model for population and will get into more complicated things as the semester goes on. Some things are really cool, some things are a little ridiculous. The other day we talked about how to model love affairs and a couple's feelings for each other based on how strongly they keep their own feelings and how they react to the other's. There was some really interesting outcomes just based on the parameters you picked! The math behind it is really interesting.

Anyway, the reason this deserves it's own blog post is that it's made me realize something. I really like modelling things from real life. I like seeing the math behind how nature works and being able to predict the future from finding patterns. So while I still don't know what field I want to study or what career I want, I now have a clue about where to go, and that's exciting!

- Jessica

P.S. The title came from an actual scientific article I was looking at for class. They were modelling how heat is distributed in the oven to determine the best shaped pan to use for brownies. It reminded me of you! Round pans distribute the heat most evenly, but it wastes room in the oven. They decided on rectangular pans with rounded corners.

P.P.S. Here's a song that I heard three days ago and it has been in my head ever since. I like it, it just needs to get out of my head. It's "The Walker" by Fits and the Tantrums

The BYUH Atmosphere

Hey Jessica!

While you're off saving the world with math, I just scare people. The most common response I get when I tell people my major is: "Oh" (scared look) "you're probably analyzing me right now." I usually then inform them that I'm a freshman and they don't have cause to be scared of me . . . yet. While in line for the cafeteria one day, I met another psychology major. He said that that never stops. I guess I'll just frighten people for the rest of my life . . .


BYUH has a certain atmosphere. I think this is the same atmosphere no matter which BYU you go to. The second you get on campus--marriage time. It was mentioned multiple times during orientation and we all know that that's kinda what is expected and what is going to happen, but it's a weird feeling. I'm 18, I don't want to get married yet, and neither do my friends, but that doesn't mean this feeling isn't affecting us. Here's how it is:

1. Most of the guys here are older than the girls my age. Because we're the same age as guys are when they can go on missions, they are mostly gone or soon to be gone. Why is this an issue? It's because all the guys here are looking for a wife. Or have a wife.This makes dating stressful (not that I've been on a date) because we're just like, "I wanna be friends" and they're like "you could be my eternal companion!" Awkward.
2. There's this feeling that you could meet your future husband at any time. Suddenly, you are on the lookout for guys. Impressing them is a big deal. Even I, with my "a guy just passed us? He was cute?" attitude have noticed some guys. Big deal. This feeling just gets in your head and makes you over think everything and wonder about everyone you meet. 
3. My bishop is very pro-dating. He says we can call him if our home teachers don't teach us, or about anything, including if we don't get any dates. When I had an interview with him (after about two or three weeks of being here) he asked if I had gone on any dates. He was really surprised when I said no. He then told me of how he was going to get on the guys' backs (and how he already had) about them not dating "our girls". How can you not feel awkward when he talks like that? How does that not get in your head and screw you all up inside?
4. Single girls feel really weird. So weird and left out and awkward that my friends have devised a point system. If a guy (a friend or a date) walks you to the curb, you get a certain number of points. If a guy walks you onto the curb, you get more of a certain number of points. If he walks you all the way to the door/lock thingy, you get even more points! However, making out in front of the hale loses you points. PDA in general makes you lose points. I think this point system makes the lonely feel more involved. It lets them hear all the details and revel in someone else's love life.
5. "What race are you attracted to?" is probably a question only really heard here. This means you have to have a preference, you have to know said preference, and you have to let all your friends find you guys that match that preference. Whether it be Asian, Polynesian, Caucasian, African, whatever, there's someone here for you. And don't worry, all your friends will conspire together to get that guy for you. Because that's the BYUH way.

So that's how the BYUH atmosphere is messing with my head.

On another note . . .

Trouble has struck my roommate. Her grandfather was sent to the ICU. The Lord, for some reason, sent us both to BYU-Hawaii. He sent us to be roommates. We were both together when she got the call in the cafeteria having dinner. I, being an idiot, was talking joyfully to some other people when her mom called. She had to ask me to talk to her for me to listen. As we were walking back to the hale she told me.We got a lot of weird looks as she cried  as we walked. Through the Holy Ghost I was able to tell her what she needed to hear. God put us together for some reason. Maybe it was just for this moment. Maybe it was for things yet to come. God knows every one of us and He cares for every one of us. He put our lives in motion so that we could come together right now. It was a delicate procedure, but He did it because she needed someone right then, and I would be there right then. I know God lives. I know that there is life after death and that everyone will have the opportunity to learn the gospel and to accept it. I can't claim to understand God's plan for me or anyone else on this earth, but He has a plan, people die at certain times for a reason. Trials come for a reason. Sometimes, like in my roommate's case, they come all at once, sometimes they come slowly and last for a long time. You can overcome with the Lord's help. He knows your sorrows, He knows your pains. Lean on Him.


Melissa

ACME (Not Acne)

Melissa!

So this past week I realized something: I actually have a cool response when people ask me what I'm studying! In the past it's always gone as follows: What are you studying? Math. Oh, do you want to teach? No. What do you want to do? I don't know yet. Then they look at me funny and think I'm either counting on being a stay at home mom so I can study something with no relevance at all, or that I'm going to stay in academia my whole life and just prove random unconnected theorems about stuff they can't understand.

BUT NO LONGER!

I realized that I have a super cool major, and that even though I don't know what I'm going to do yet, I'm learning some really cool stuff and that when I'm done, I'll be able to do whatever I want. If I just start listing off a few of the things I've learned in the first 6 weeks of the major, people are really impressed and pretty excited.

For example, being in BYU's Applied and Computational Math Emphasis (ACME) is like being a math major, but you go a step further and learn about the algorithms that people are using today to do everything. You know those image filters on Instagram? That's just linear algebra, and I've programmed a very simple version of my own. And I've made a program that will take a database of actors and movies and find out each actor's Bacon Number (how many steps away they are from Kevin Bacon). At this point, the only thing holding me back from doing filters on large pictures or using a database from more than just the past few years is computing power. Next week we are learning about teaching computers to read handwriting. The program I'll be doing will just be reading numbers, but still, this is a real problem that real people are working on today. In the next two years, I'll also learn about Google's search algorithms, facial recognition, voice recognition (like Siri!), autopilot, and many other algorithms that get used everyday. Math is in everything we use and creating good algorithms is how we solve all of our problems. I'm not learning something obscure or unusable, I'm learning high level math in order to solve all of your problems. I love it. I love the material, I love the teachers, I love the other students, and I've never been so excited. So now when people ask me what I'm studying, I get excited and I basically spew out this whole paragraph.

So Melissa, this is what I hope for you. Not for you do to math, but for you to find a major or career that gets you excited. Because if you don't love it, you won't be good and you won't be happy.

- Jessica

Eight Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Oahu

Hey Jessica!

I'm sorry you were so sick last week, I really hope you're feeling better.

I've been in Hawaii for about a month now and so I thought I would share with you some things that I learned about Hawaii. Here it is:

Eight Things You (Probably) Didn't know About Oahu

1. Chickens. There are stray chickens everywhere. Apparently some were wild and some not, but they mated and you just don't know which is which anymore, so I think they are basically all wild. If you ever go off of campus in the morning you will hear all the roosters crowing. If you leave campus any other time of the day, you'll see the hens, and the roosters, and their baby chicks just walking around. It takes a bit of getting used to, but it's kinda cool, and different, and unexpected.
2. Stray Animals. I don't know if this is universal (islandversal?) but there are stray animals here. More than I am used to. We have at least three stray cats and two stray dogs on campus. It is definitely a possibility that this is just a campus thing . . . but since when are there stray animals on a college campus? I've never heard of such a thing before. The biggest thing to know about said stray animals is not to feed them. You can get fined by the campus police if you do.
3. Small Beach. Maybe I'm just used to the beaches we normally go to when we go to California, but there's not a ton of sand here. Like in California there is about what 50 feet of sand before you get to the water? Here (excepting Waikiki) there is more like 10-20 feet of sand. Maybe that is just the beaches by campus, but once again, I wasn't expecting that.
4. Rain. Contrary to popular belief, it does rain in Hawaii. On this side of the island it rains more than on the other side, but it does rain. It just rains for five minutes than stops. Seriously, it's like the sky has a timer that goes off "oh! It's been five minutes! Better stop raining!"
5. Flower in the Hair. Wearing a flower of the left side of your hair means you are "taken" wearing it on the right side means you are "available". So don't screw it up, unless you want to deceive everyone.
6. Shrimp Trucks. There are shrimp trucks all along the North Shore. They get their shrimp fresh from the ocean and they are good! They all kinda look like unprofessional vendor trucks, but trust me, some of them are DELICIOUS.
7. Foodland and Walmart. These are the places to be. Foodland is the closest grocery store near campus and Walmart is the cheapest place on the island. However, Walmart is at least an hour away, sometimes two. If you are ever bored you can just go to Foodland, or you can take your whole Saturday to go down to Walmart. I don't think I have ever been so excited to go to Walmart before coming here. It's crazy. On a related note, I don't think anything here (that isn't like a pack of gum or a granola bar) that's under $4. Crazy, eh?
8. Height. I put this one in here because my friend Brooke (who's 5' 7") says that she was really surprised by how short people are here. Even I noticed that, a bit. There are a greater amount of shorter people here than I was used to at home. I was used to being the shortest person around, however, now I'm not! (And it isn't just all the Asians here.) No. All sorts of people are short! It definitely helps my self-esteem.

I was bored and watching videos on YouTube one day when I stumbled across this. I know you like this song so I thought I'd share it with you. 

At a one of the devotionals here the speaker talked about meeting new people. I can't remember what they whole talk was about but he mentioned this. He talked about sitting next to the lonely people at meals. Now, I  am usually that lonely person. I had a moment where I could've brushed off the council he was giving us and thought "it isn't for me. People should be coming to sit by me" but I listened. I decided that, whenever I went to a meal alone, I was going to sit by a someone who was sitting alone. It's been ok, I've been meeting new people, many of who I never see again, and I haven't sat alone in a while. But the other day I was really rewarded. I sat by a girl named Abigail, we talked and I found out she is in two of my classes and I had fun with her. After dinner she said she was going to buy Hi-Chews and when I said I had never had them before, she decided to share then with me. We walked over to the Seasider, she bought Hi-Chews, ate one or two of them, and gave the rest of the pack to me! It was really nice of her. The moral of this story is, listen to your leaders and follow their advice, even if you think you may be excused from it. Truth is, you're not. You'll be blessed if you follow their council, it comes from God.

Love,
Melissa

Hard Things

Melissa,

So this week was hard. Not only did I get sick, but that sickness basically made my brain not work, which made my math homework very difficult. Combine this with long days with very few to no breaks, and it gets pretty bad. It even got to a point where Monday during a study group, I was at the white board trying to figure out a proof with some other people, and we were all teasing each other like normal. Then I started laughing pretty hard and the laugh just kinda turned into tears. So I got some hugs and then they made me go sit down and take a break.

That night, I prayed harder than I have in a very long while. I just couldn't do it. School and work were hard enough before, and now with being sick, and not being able to sleep because I was sick, I just couldn't function, I couldn't think - I could barely make it from class to class, let alone get all my homework done. I realized just how weak I was, and how much I really do need to rely on my Savior.

The week got better, and after hearing President Monson's talk in the General Relief Society Meeting, my eyes were opened. Looking back now I can see the heavens opening the instant after I said that prayer. So many of my friends offered help and medicine, and my study group friends all constantly asked how I was doing and were patient enough to slowly guide my muddled mind through difficult proofs. My roommate gave me some Tylenol PM to help me sleep, and slowly, my body started to heal. As much as I wish I hadn't gotten sick, I am so glad I got the chance to see just how my Lord and Savior can help me when I am in need.

I know a simple sickness is small compared to what others go through, but for me, it was a big trial. Now I know without a doubt that God lives and that He cares for each one of His children. I know that when we turn to Him in humility and faith, we allow Him to bless our lives through His kindness, comfort, and His angels here on earth. I know miracles happen, and I know God often works through His faithful members to bless others. I know that no matter what trial we go through in this life, that we can rely on Him and make it safely though.

I hope all is going well in Hawaii, and I want you to know that though college will be hard, the Lord is always there to help you get through it. Have a great week, and I can't wait to hear from you!

- Jessica