While you're off saving the world with math, I just scare people. The most common response I get when I tell people my major is: "Oh" (scared look) "you're probably analyzing me right now." I usually then inform them that I'm a freshman and they don't have cause to be scared of me . . . yet. While in line for the cafeteria one day, I met another psychology major. He said that that never stops. I guess I'll just frighten people for the rest of my life . . .
BYUH has a certain atmosphere. I think this is the same atmosphere no matter which BYU you go to. The second you get on campus--marriage time. It was mentioned multiple times during orientation and we all know that that's kinda what is expected and what is going to happen, but it's a weird feeling. I'm 18, I don't want to get married yet, and neither do my friends, but that doesn't mean this feeling isn't affecting us. Here's how it is:
- Most of the guys here are older than the girls my age. Because we're the same age as guys are when they can go on missions, they are mostly gone or soon to be gone. Why is this an issue? It's because all the guys here are looking for a wife. Or have a wife.This makes dating stressful (not that I've been on a date) because we're just like, "I wanna be friends" and they're like "you could be my eternal companion!" Awkward.
- There's this feeling that you could meet your future husband at any time. Suddenly, you are on the lookout for guys. Impressing them is a big deal. Even I, with my "a guy just passed us? He was cute?" attitude have noticed some guys. Big deal. This feeling just gets in your head and makes you over think everything and wonder about everyone you meet.
- My bishop is very pro-dating. He says we can call him if our home teachers don't teach us, or about anything, including if we don't get any dates. When I had an interview with him (after about two or three weeks of being here) he asked if I had gone on any dates. He was really surprised when I said no. He then told me of how he was going to get on the guys' backs (and how he already had) about them not dating "our girls". How can you not feel awkward when he talks like that? How does that not get in your head and screw you all up inside?
- Single girls feel really weird. So weird and left out and awkward that my friends have devised a point system. If a guy (a friend or a date) walks you to the curb, you get a certain number of points. If a guy walks you onto the curb, you get more of a certain number of points. If he walks you all the way to the door/lock thingy, you get even more points! However, making out in front of the hale loses you points. PDA in general makes you lose points. I think this point system makes the lonely feel more involved. It lets them hear all the details and revel in someone else's love life.
- "What race are you attracted to?" is probably a question only really heard here. This means you have to have a preference, you have to know said preference, and you have to let all your friends find you guys that match that preference. Whether it be Asian, Polynesian, Caucasian, African, whatever, there's someone here for you. And don't worry, all your friends will conspire together to get that guy for you. Because that's the BYUH way.
So that's how the BYUH atmosphere is messing with my head.
On another note . . .
Trouble has struck my roommate. Her grandfather was sent to the ICU. The Lord, for some reason, sent us both to BYU-Hawaii. He sent us to be roommates. We were both together when she got the call in the cafeteria having dinner. I, being an idiot, was talking joyfully to some other people when her mom called. She had to ask me to talk to her for me to listen. As we were walking back to the hale she told me.We got a lot of weird looks as she cried as we walked. Through the Holy Ghost I was able to tell her what she needed to hear. God put us together for some reason. Maybe it was just for this moment. Maybe it was for things yet to come. God knows every one of us and He cares for every one of us. He put our lives in motion so that we could come together right now. It was a delicate procedure, but He did it because she needed someone right then, and I would be there right then. I know God lives. I know that there is life after death and that everyone will have the opportunity to learn the gospel and to accept it. I can't claim to understand God's plan for me or anyone else on this earth, but He has a plan, people die at certain times for a reason. Trials come for a reason. Sometimes, like in my roommate's case, they come all at once, sometimes they come slowly and last for a long time. You can overcome with the Lord's help. He knows your sorrows, He knows your pains. Lean on Him.